Diary of a Lesbian Nanny

Love and Healing for LIZA!

2007-06-17T16:17:00.000-06:00

It is strange and frightening what happens in life. We like to think we have control; we don't! We like to think we can move through life with routine and predictability, but then life throws a curve ball! We like to think that the one's we love will always be there and will always be safe, and this too is not always the case.

Enjoying life and doing the things we love is something we tend to take for granted. Although realistically we know bad things happen, it's not a constant thought in our minds until it happens to us, or someone close.

The leader of the pack... a motorcycle pack... Liza is ours. She is the oldest and most experienced rider, and with her light hearted and fun personality can assemble a group of people for an event or a party in a heartbeat. She has so many friends, people who love her with a genuine spirit. She touches so many people more deeply than she could ever realize.

Liza was about to join one of the biggest of motorcycle packs for an experience like no other. Dykes on Bikes traditionally lead the pride parades, and San Francisco can have as many as 450-500 bikes. Liza was headed there to participate in the festivities when the worst fear of every biker came to fruition; a crash.

Liza's number one Angel, watching over her for the last 22 years, was with her in that moment when the 5 ton truck came into her lane without shoulder checking and knocked her into the air at 110KPH, or about 70MPH. As she sailed through the air watching her bike continue down the highway end over end, her Angel surely picked her out of the sky and placed her down as gently as she could. As a result, Liza has no internal or head injuries... a miracle. It is a miracle she survived. She is, however, badly broken.

Death wasn't in the cards, thankfully, nor all the other things that could and should have been, but weren't. The officer on the scene went to the emergency room and told Liza directly, "You should be dead!"

"Serendipity," Liza always says, everything happens for a reason. She wasn't meant to go to California right now, there is something else for her. She wasn't meant to die either, yet the experience of being in the air, and knowing she was needing to land, gave her a clear sense of it being the end. It was not. Her Angel confidently guiding the outcome.

Behind her on that highway witnessing everything... in one car a paramedic; in another car a cop. All instantly on the scene jumping into action, caring, helping, comforting, reassuring. Placed there at the right time... no coincidence.

Shredded leather, no road rash, life saving helmet. It was cool weather, so Liza wore all her gear. We always wear our gear, Liza does not. She did on June 14th, and will forever more. A poster child for her brand of helmet the medics tell her. They cut it off and her head is perfect. A concrete barricade two feet high, now bearing a trail of helmet paint, saves her from being projected into oncoming traffic; life saving. Thank you BC department of highways!

Scared to ride again she tells me. I know. I look at my bike in the garage and wonder... could it be me? Could it be Tanya? Would we survive like Liza? I shake the thought from my head and vow to ride soon before the fear takes hold. Liza too will ride again; I have faith. Maybe all together... San Francisco Pride 2009. Safety in numbers!

Camera phone picture from the hospital.

The ANGEL watching Liza from above.

Me with Liza in 2002.

This was the beginning of my love of riding.

Bike show 2003. Liza did buy this bike :o)

Dolphin - A symbol of healing. Mexico 2004.

ANOTHER new bike! July 2005. Who knew then that this would be the bike she crashed on?

Us again!

In true Liza form! Vancouver Pride 2005.

Always celebrating something. Celebrate life!

Justin and Liza - May 2007. New life; pure love.

Liza with my partner, Tanya, at our house warming party - June 9th 2007

Housewarming. Annie, Tanya and Liza.

Calgary Pride - June 10th 2007. Four days before the crash.

Celebrating Pride June 10th 2007

We love you Liza... heal and be whole, and depend on us to support you all the way. We want you back in our city and sharing our home while you recover. We miss you and hope you can come back soon.

My Channel

2007-05-05T13:12:00.000-06:00

I have now posted video on You Tube to share with you all who are so far away and don't get to see me in person. This is fun, and now you can have A Pinch of My Life.

What We Call the News!

2007-04-02T20:38:00.000-06:00

This says it all!

I love it!!!

Our New House

2007-03-02T20:41:00.000-07:00

Tanya and I bought our first house together. We are so excited, and we are counting the days until we move in on March 15th/16th.

It is even sweeter given that we live in a main floor bungalow with the tenants from HELL in the basement. We are so thrilled to be leaving and can only imagine the peace and privacy we will have after putting up with them for 2 years.

Here are a few pictures:

SOLD

THE FRONT

THE BACK

LIVING ROOM

KITCHEN

OPEN FLOOR PLAN

We plan to have a lot of fun with paint colors and home decor, and we have already ordered a couch/loveseat/coffee table suite, and an area rug and some art for the living room because the furniture we have now will be upstairs in the media room. I will post some 'after' pictures when we are settled in.

I Run For Life

2007-02-08T17:01:00.000-07:00

I am doing well on my running program. I did have to take a week off for a hamstring injury, and it was very hard not to go out and run. After that week I repeated week 3 which was 1.5 minute run and 2 minute walk x8. This week I am running strong with 7 rotations of 2 minute run and 2 minute walk.

I am taking glucosamine for my joints, and I ice any feeling of discomfort in my hamstring. I stretch well after a run and I warm up before. It helps to wear tights under my running pants on really cold days, and I bought YakTrax to put on my properly fitted runners so I don't have to step so tentatively causing muscle strain. They grip well, and I am very happy with them. They allow me to step confidently in the snow and ice.

YAKTRAX

Perspective on War

2007-01-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

I couldn't help but wonder if this soldier has babies of his own. Iraqi children are the same as our children... Imagine the suffering! War? Why?

The war has done worse things to Iraq than Saddam ever did. With all the "intelligence" in America, couldn't they have come up with an alternative?

God help us all. God bless those little children who suffer over there. God bless the children here who are losing parents daily. Again, I say WHY?

CLICK PICTURE TO READ TEXT

England and France

2006-10-17T19:54:00.000-06:00

First post: October 17/06
Second addition: October 24/06
Third addition: November 04/06

Please check out many more photos on flickr by double clicking the picture window in the top right hand corner of this page.

After a relaxing yet active summer with new friends, old friends, new babies, and my sweet "B" of course, we went on a fall holiday to England and France.

My Dad celebrated his 70th birthday and I was blessed to celebrate with him in the country where I was born and raised until the age of 11 years.

As with most things I documented everything in pictures. I took over 800 pictures in 2 weeks, as well as some video. Of course I will not be posting them all, but here are a few, and I will post more on Flickr.

Southern England countryside from the air.

Landed in Newquay in the South of England

We flew to Manchester and had a wait before we got our bmibaby flight to Newquay. Flights within Europe are very cheap if booked online with bmibaby or Ryanair. Some as cheap as the equivalent of $2.00 plus taxes. Our flight wasn't that cheap, but we still got 2 flights for about $100.00 including taxes fees and charges. The flights were about $30 each with $20 in taxes, fees and other charges. You can get the same kind of flights to almost anywhere in Europe.

My oldest sister, Catherine, and Dad's dog Cassy.

Catherine and my Dad picked us up from the Newquay airport after a journey beginning about 16 or 17 hours earlier (including stopover between flights). We were exhausted and excited after not seeing each other for 8 years (siblings) and 2 years (Dad and Lyn).

Dad picked us up in the camper van in order to accommodate us and our luggage. Cars in England are small, and roads are very narrow, so for 4 people, a dog, and luggage, there would have been no room in their small car.

There is a lot of history in Bodmin, Cornwall where my Dad has lived for over 30 years, and I once lived.

This church is magnificent. Check it out here.

Below are some artistic shots I took on the church property.

We also visited a military museum.

The 1800's British soldier uniform that eventually became the North West Mounted Police uniform; now known as the Royal Canadian Mounted Police ... and Tanya eh?

The colours of the 32nd (Cornwall) Regiment of Foot 1844 - 1866

Added October 24, 2006

My Dad has been a part of the Trigg Morris Men for more than 30 years. This traditional British folk dancing is a huge part of his life and encompasses tradition, culture, music, friendships and exercise. The men are great, and if ever you need a good laugh, you just have to listen in to the banter that occurs between this long time dance team as they perform without missing a beat. My Dad is the washboard player; her also sings and dances.

This gig took place in a little village called Blisland.

Dad (center) and Tanya (right).

Dad (center) and Me (right).

Us Three.

The Village Sign.

If anyone has seen the comedy series, Little Britain, you will have heard the joke that according to British law there is one pub for every 5 people. Well, not to far from the truth! There are a lot of pubs, and as of yet there are no smoking laws to protect us non smokers. The upside is that doors are open and music is loud, so we were able to enjoy the jam session part of the night from outside in the fresh air.

Tanya outside looking into the pub!

Me sitting on the picnic table looking into the pub as the Morris Men sang for the crowd.

Added November 4th 2006

The countryside in southern England is lush and green. Take a short drive from any town or village and you will find yourself in rolling hills and green meadows as far as you can see.

Me in the meadow.

With Dad.

Beyond the beautiful green is the ocean.

The roadways between towns, and the streets within towns, can be VERY narrow. Vehicles are small, but cars and pedestrians have to make way so one can pass through at a time. Surprisingly, unlike the typical North American me first, get out of my way attitude, everyone manages to be polite about sharing the narrow spaces.

This is a reasonably wide road... you will notice it even has a center line!

This was entering the Cornish village of Boscastle. This beautiful village suffered a devastating flood in 2004.

Yes, those cars are legally parked. If something comes the other way, one vehicle will pull over and let the other pass.

Even the pedestrians step aside. Notice the pretty ivy covered house ahead.

Boscastle.

Beautiful gardens and cobblestone streets.

Historic buildings.

In The Old Mill you can shop for books, toys, antiques and leather products.

The Old Water Mill.

Pride Celebrations

2006-06-12T13:56:00.000-06:00

Yesterday the Gay Pride Parade kicked off our 16th annual pride week celebrations. I am starting this entry with a picture I took at the end of the day because so often the religious-self-righteous are too quick to tell us how wrong and bad we are, and how we are an abomination to God.

The rainbow flag has been the pride symbol since 1978. It represents diversity and inclusiveness of all people, it encompasses the colors of all flags as well as representing the historical biblical promises to Noah and the world. So, after a full day of celebrating, I was spiritually moved follow this all the way home...

God is proud of us for who we are. God loves us and accepts us. God created us. What an appropriate showing at the end of our day!

Before I put my bike away I had to go around the block and take this picture.

The day began with a gathering of parade participants, and we were the Dykes on Bikes. It is a small group, only 5 bikes and 7 dykes, but the spirit of bonding, sharing and fun was much bigger. We are hoping to make the group larger every year. San Fransisco had 500 bikes when I was there in 2000.

We had to be at the starting point an hour before the parade began, so we spent time visiting, taking pictures, having free Starbucks coffee, polishing, and putting the decorations on our bikes.

Rainbow clad Liza is a great friend and the leader of our pack.

Liza, a veteran biker, is has been a pride parade participant in Edmonton and Vancouver as well as here at home. Two of the biggest parades take place in Montreal, and San Fransisco. Perhaps we will attend those as a pack in the near future years.

Liza, Jeanine and Roxanne polishing chrome and paint.

My partner Tanya, with our friend Jamie's help, is taping flags to her bike. Jamie has been looking at bikes, but for now she is Tanya's passenger.

Me (L) and Tanya (R) taking some time to view the floats before we parade.

IKEA, affectionately referred to as DIKEA is a proud supporter of gay pride. The pride logo on the car reads:
People
Rejoicing
In
Diversity
Everywhere

Corporations are realizing the financial advantage to supporting gay consumers and offering same sex benefits for gay couples and their children. We joke a lot about Dikea and Homo Depot, but it comes from truth. We all shop a LOT at these places! We have our favorite products, vehicles, electronics, vacation spots, restaurants and entertainment venues; and with so many couples having two incomes with no kids, it is just smart marketing.

Having said that, more couples are having children now, and we plan to also. In fact, two of our friends with bikes are expecting their first child, so they were not with us in the parade. We met them later at the festival and beer garden (NO, the pregnant one didn't drink!)

Okay, here is our friend, Nikki. She rides these pedicabs to make extra money. She pedaled this father and son all the way down the parade route.

Here I am on my bike.

This is my bike.

We had a lot of fun, and this is always a great occasion to get together and celebrate our diversity and freedom. It sure has come a long way from 16 years ago when there were about 150 participants and they all wore masks. This year there were 2000+ people celebrating, having fun... and NO masks!

It is a very family oriented event where we can bring children, parents, siblings, and friends. We can feel free to be with our partners/spouses and know that we are loved, supported, and as valuable to this world as anyone else.

(There are two more group photos to come as soon as Blogger remedies the technical problem with uploading. Until then, they are available on MY flickr PAGE)

Night by Elie Wiesel

2006-05-24T21:13:00.000-06:00

Picture Source: Oprah.com

The horror and pain in their faces speaks volumes.

Today I sat still, not breathing, stunned as I watched Professor Elie Wiesel, walk arm in arm with Oprah and recall his first hand account of being a prisoner of the Auschwitz Death Camp at the age of 15 years, beginning in 1942. The miracle of survival told by this prolific writer, teacher, philosopher, and Nobel Peace Prize winning Author is profound.

I felt a physical weight in the pit of my stomach, a lump blocking my throat, and when I finally exhaled, my eyes released a well of tears... sad and burning hot.

The camp, now a preserved part of this horrific history that tortured and killed millions of innocent Jews, displays the suitcases marked with the names and birth dates of the prisoners who had no reason to believe that they would never need the contents. Those considered able to work, therefore allowed to live, had loved ones torn away from them, they were stripped of all belongings, stripped of their identities, and tattooed with a number. They were given striped suits which were a thin fabric, worn day and night, all seasons, never washed, never a bath or a shower.

The clothes and shoes of babies, children, women and men. Shoes that would never be filled, says Professor Wiesel, with the human beings who could have potentially cured cancer or AIDS. One pair of red women's shoes... Professor Wiesel determined they must have belonged to a dancer.

Then there was the hair. The heads of all, dead and alive, were shaved and the hair was sold to make fabric. Behind a window in a sealed display Oprah and Professor Wiesel stared at thousands of pounds of hair which had been discovered, ready to be shipped, when the camp was liberated. Some still braided.

The historic footage is grim. The faces of those who live only to breathe death day and night. Then there were the walking dead. Skeletons walking. Gas chambers where naked innocents were herded believing they would now get a shower after 10 days in a boxcar with hundreds of others and no food or water. Mothers clutching their infants. The terrified faces of the children. The frail and elderly losing all dignity. The crematorium where babies were heard screaming when they were thrown in alive. Hundreds of thousands of dead emaciated bodies bulldozed into mass graves and burned as the smell of their flesh penetrated the senses of their surviving loved ones.

To think of the little brat in my FLDS blog (comments section), found below, having taunted people on another forum with her "Sieg Heil" chant!!! I pray she is as ignorant as she seems because if that were done with intent, based on knowledge of the evil monster it is attributed too, she ought to be deeply, deeply ashamed, and hope that the people on the forum who lost relatives in the Holocaust will find it in their hearts to forgive her.

Professor Elie Wiesel says that there is no explanation; there is no understanding. True, so very true.

Please read...

FLDS Prophet, Warren Jeffs, Profiled on America’s Most Wanted

2006-05-09T22:49:00.000-06:00

Warren Jeffs, who is the cult leader for the FLDS polygamist sect in Colorado City, AZ, was profiled on the FOX network's America's Most Wanted tonight (May 06 2006).

It showed clearly the sick and twisted relationships men in this "religion" are taught to have with little girls. When the decision is made for a man to have a certain girl child, the parents turn them over without question because they have been brainwashed to believe that this is God's way.

The show played tapes of Warren Jeffs teaching his followers that everything ungodly is created by Negros and homosexuals. There are videos of tonight's AMW episode on the link below. It also includes the case profile, photos, and information about this sick sexual perversion and the power and money involved. Check it out, and tell me what you think.

http://www.amw.com/fugitives/brief.cfm?id=33750

This polygamist religion is accomplished in huge numbers by psychological control. The followers are isolated and controlled through fear, coercion and deception. When they are raised this way from birth, they don't have the ability to question any of it. They are kept in guarded compounds and taught to fear the outside world and everything in it. I suppose that makes their sexual and physical abuse seem pretty minor until they find out that the world is not what they are told it is.

Some do escape or are rescued by people risking their own lives to get their loved ones out, but according to former member, Flora Jessop, who was interviewed by Nancy Grace on CNN, when females try to leave they are hunted.

...to be continued, but feel free to comment...

Writers Block!

2006-05-01T21:23:00.000-06:00

Sometimes my tired brain just screeches to a halt. It has been one of those weeks, but that's when I use my time to do the mundane things like shopping, organizing, banking and housework.

I have spent some time on my motorcycle, walking, or just sitting to watch a movie, or some Arrested Development on DVD.

Work is great, and B is talking more every day. He has developed a sensitivity to spills, even drips from his straw onto the place mat, and it upsets him until they are cleaned up. We got another 15 truck books from the library, so that keeps him very happy... especially the one about garbage trucks! Fascinating to him; it makes me smile.

More later when I am back on my writing roll.

The New Car

2006-04-23T22:51:00.000-06:00

After our exciting trip, off we went to the Mazda dealer. Tanya has had her eye on the Mazda3 for some time now, but we had two cars, both running fine, and no payments, so there was no justification for buying a new one. Not the case anymore!

She had to leave for work after already taking a few extra days off, so the dealer had to work fast to get her exactly what she wanted. He did. He was great, and as personable as Tanya is, he even began to confide in her about his personal life. He just figured she would understand. She did.

We took B with us to pick up the car, and he was in his glory. As obsessed as he is with vehicles of ALL kinds, the showroom became his playground for the day. How many 21 month old toddlers do you know who will sit through a half hour demo of all the features of a loaded car. He payed attention better than junior high kids in a classroom. I told his parents to keep the car keys hidden because that little sponge brain of his missed nothing! The last thing we need is for him to be driving before he is two!

B picked out a red convertible MX-5, and spent a lot of time in it. When a customer sat in it he just pointed to himself with a distressed look on his face as if someone was taking what was really his. It is hard to explain to a toddler that he has to share when all he wants is his turn. He is learning though because we go to Gymboree where he has to wait for his turn on his favorite equipment. I had to use that analogy to help him understand why the man was in his car.

The new car.

A very happy Tanya.

The one B picked.

What a Trip!

2006-04-22T14:45:00.000-06:00

I have been gone a while as you can see, but what an adventure. Tanya and I went to her Grandma's 70th birthday party in Kamloops B.C. It is an eight hour drive for us, so we planned to go part way the day before and get a hotel so we would not have a long trip the day of and have to rush. The party was a surprise, so we had a time-line for when Grandma was to arrive.

By 1:00 a.m. we had reached Revelstoke and our drive had been quite scary in that we were coming around a mountainside in the rain, snow and fog. The truckers who travel that road all the time, and could likely do so with their eyes closed (which is what it was like driving much of the way), were very impatient with our caution. So with the engine making a strange sound for the past hour, we search for a room. NO Vacancies!!!

We eventually found a motel that came highly recommended by another motel that had vacancies but no hot water. When we get there we find ourselves in a 1970's dive with lumpy concave mattresses and pillows like bricks. I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry!

Yaaay! Great! Who recommended this "really nice" motel?

You can see the concave in the bed, and the other bed was on a slope, and they were both VERY lumpy. LOL

As it turned out it was a blessing because we got only a few miles out the next morning and the engine quit. The first thing I did was thank God we did not break down the night before or decide to continue on. Where we broke down was on a straight stretch where we could be seen, and a shoulder to pull onto out of the line of traffic. I was happy that we didn't break down the night before with the lack of visibility and no place to safely pull over, a transport truck would have surely sent us careening off the side of the mountain.

This is the first time I have thought of a breakdown as a blessing, and we laughed about everything for the rest of that day. The first bit of comedy came into play when we realized that we had 2 cellphones, roadside service memberships, but no signal. Tanya got out of the car an started walking hoping to get a signal around a corner. That was never going to happen, but what else do you do? I was sitting in the car with the hood up as Tanya got into a silver Dodge Ram with a boat hooked to the back. I began to envision all the creepy movies where people disappear and never come back.

I got out the camera and began to document the events unfolding around me. "Tanya got into a silver truck with a boat on the back," my video begins. I took time to capture the images of the beauty that surrounded me also, and I sat and waited.

The yellow sign up ahead reads - NO STOPPING, AVALANCHE AREA. You can see how narrow the shoulders are even when we did have them.

Thinking... If a truck hits me from behind I will be in this pretty little pond!

Now not long after I had videoed and photographed what may have been the last moments of my life, I snapped back into reality and got the map out to see where the next town was assuming Tanya would be taken there. Just as I did I heard a 'beep beep beep'. Clearly the sound B makes when he is pretending to be a truck backing up! I peered again between the dash and the open hood to see a wrecker backing up to load the car and rescue me! Whoo Hooo!!!

Are we having fun yet?

Safe and sound in a parking lot.

Well, now that we were safe and sound, we recall that it is Good Friday in a very small town and everything is closed. The manager at the dealership was there on his day off doing paperwork, and unlike a big city, small town business folk are happy to help out even when they are closed. He took the car and the keys, gave us the mechanics card, and said we could call tomorrow to find out what the problem was. So, now we needed to get to Grandma's party which was still a two and a half hour drive. I know, we will just rent a car and be on our way, right?

Nope!

The only car rental place in Revelstoke was a guy with a few cars at the FasGas. The tow truck driver took us there, and we asked the attendant if he had any rentals available. He said he didn't. Now what? He said he might have a Chevy Impala coming back, but he made some calls and that wasn't going to happen. Then the surprise. He told us he had one car in the back, but it had been reserved for Sunday afternoon. He told us that if we could have it back by Sunday morning we could have it. "Oh Yes, for sure, no problem," we told him. So credit card in hand, paper to sign, and off we went in a Toyota minivan! We laughed a lot. Tanya and I laugh a lot anyway, but this entire situation was all so funny to us, and now we are two dykes in a minivan with no kids. LMAO!!!

On the road again!

Well, we are cutting it close, and I still have to shower and change, but we might just make it. Look at all that room back there!

We did make it, and thankfully Grandma was late, so with wet hair, but clean and dressed, I made it to the banquet room on time with the camera all ready for the surprise. She was very surprised because people came from far and wide, and although she is very perceptive, and the planning had been going on for months, she had no clue.

Next on my agenda was a nice cold beer. The dinner was great, and I met even more of Tanya's HUGE family. I don't feel bad not knowing who everyone is when she still has to ask her Mom who people are. They are a lot of fun, and because of our car dilemma we stayed a day longer than we had planned.

The trip home was as eventful as the trip there. We had to take the van back by Sunday morning, but we were wanting to go home Saturday night because we had planned to leave Willow for only two nights. We left Thursday and it is now Saturday. I called the dreaded Greyhound and realized that our bus was leaving Revelstoke at 11:15 p.m. The car rental place closed at nine, so we had to get it back by then. We made the two and a half hour drive arriving at 3 minutes to nine. Since we had two hours to kill before the bus left, it was raining, and the small depot was closed, the rental place let us keep the van, lock the keys in it, and park it at the Greyhound depot for him to pick up in the morning. What a great guy. We went for some supper and then waited in the van for our bus to come.

Tanya in the minivan, in the rain, waiting for our bus.

The little warehouse behind the van is for Greyhound express packages, and there is a small waiting room in front for passengers, but they have only daytime hours.

Here we wait in the van. At least we are out of the rain!

Our last sane moments before boarding the dreaded bus for an all night ride.

When we got on the bus and found a seat we settled in for our trip home. The people on the bus were what we expected... some drunk, some sleeping, some eating, some making out, one a little disturbing, and us laughing hysterically at our own situation. I am sure some people thought we were a little crazy.

At one stop people got off for a smoke and to buy snacks. There was an older gray-haired man who I found interesting to observe, but happy to be five rows back on the opposite side. He didn't smell very good, and he was quite large. His legs and arms seemed average size, but he was very tall when he stood sideways he resembled an over due pregnant woman carrying very high. In his hands he carried the biggest hot dog I have ever seen, a chocolate bar that would feed an entire family, and a 1 liter carton of whole milk. Our stop was a total of 20 minutes, and we departed within 10 minutes of him returning to the bus with his feast. By the time we were rolling he was finishing the last of his milk and the food was gone. Fascinating.

As if that were not enough he took to scratching one spot on his head, with his eight fingers (not his thumbs), at warp speed. He reminded me of primates grooming each other and I got to thinking how we are so genetically similar to them. After about 5 minutes of this he took out a comb and combed his entire head at the same rate he was scratching. This lasted about 10 minutes. Just when I thought I could close my eyes and stop watching, he took off his shirt and began shaking it like someone waving a white flag to surrender to the enemy.

After a couple of minutes he put his shirt on, turned of his night light, reclined the seat and never moved again. I chuckled again at the situation I was in, looked beside me at Tanya sleeping soundly, and closed my eyes. I didn't sleep much, but enough to make the trip bearable.

I kept loosening the laces on my shoes as my feet and joints swelled with the water I was retaining. After seeing so many guys going to the toilet, only 2 rows behind us, I knew they would never hit the hole on such a rocky mountain road... hell, most guys can't hit the hole standing sober in their own bathrooms... so I thanked God that the water was in my ankles and not in my bladder!

At 6:30 a.m. we walked into our cozy home to find Willow waiting and wondering where we had been for so long. Happy to be home we were!

Willow

Nannies Unite

2006-04-08T11:25:00.000-06:00

I have been reading some other Nanny weblogs and having flashbacks of prior jobs. Although I have a great job now, I do have experience with those families who would take advantage of a Nanny and then have the gall to pay so little, and criticize so harshly about petty issues that don't really matter in the realm of child development, care and safety!

This is something that has always gotten under my skin. The job we do is like no other. How many jobs are there where you are solely in charge of the safety and well-being of someone else's children only to get scolded for a book on the floor, or have your payday forgotten?!

People in general either praise us or loathe us. They don't believe we should be raising other people's children, and they fail to realize that we believe the same. Unfortunately there are the parents who can be legitimately questioned as to why they had children in the first place, but there are also wonderful parents who hire a Nanny as a valued member of their child's extended family and view us as an enhancement to their parenting experience and to their child's development, social skills and relationship building.

When you have the later you are typically not worried about showing affection and creating a bond with the child. These types of parents view this as a sign that the child is happy and content with the Nanny, and trust is built between all involved. When you have a parent who does not consider the best interest of the Nanny/parent/child relationship, this same bond can create jealousy and resentment from a parent. They don't see their lack of involvement as much as they see you taking over the parenting of their child. Well... SOMEONE HAS TO DO IT!!! So they will criticize and sabotage in order to make themselves feel better and justify paying you.

I can't stress enough how fortunate I am. I have a wonderful family who are the primary caregivers and decision makers. I go to a clean and organized house every day, and I leave it the same. If toys or books get left out by them because of a priority with the child, I have B help me clean up later. Usually by the time I get there Mom, Dad and B are on the floor with toys and books already anyway, and it is the same with me at the end of the day.

Mom and Dad do all the tidying, organizing, their own laundry and even most of the cooking. They have housekeepers come in every second week to do the major cleaning. I do B's laundry and throw together a recipe about once each week. All my time is spent with B doing fun activities and guiding him through his daily routine while making every aspect of it a learning experience. Even his meals are often pre-made, so I just heat them up. When he naps I have time to read, watch TV, study, or just relax and store energy for the afternoon. Mom and Dad value my time and realize that I am still on the job even if I am not filling every minute with their agenda. As a result, if I see anything I can do that would be helpful or allow them to give more time to B, I do it.

When they have a day off, I have a day off. When they go on holiday, I have that time off. I am on salary and they pay me the same regardless of my days. If they are out of town (like right now) they leave a post dated check for the next payday. If I babysit outside of my scheduled hours (7:30-4:30 or 5:00), they pay me extra. They plan all kinds of activities to do with B on their days off and on weekends, and if he has an appointment, one or both parents take time off work to take him. The best part... Every single day they kiss B goodbye, tell him they love him, and then turn to me and say, "Thank you." They always say things to me like, "Have fun," and "Have a good day." It seems so simple, but it makes a real difference to how I feel as an appreciated, trusted and welcome addition to B's life.

We do need more of these families because in comparison, my last family was the worst 18 months of my entire career. The sad thing about that statement is that my career involves child welfare!

PINK Is My New Favorite Color!

2006-04-08T11:03:00.000-06:00

Chilled me to the bone this did. Please click on the "watch it" link under the picture of Bush. You can choose Quicktime or Windows Media Player.

Sorry, the link on Rosie's blog is no longer available.

The song I am referring to is Dear Mr. President by Pink. The CD is titled I'm Not Dead.

Just For Fun - Life Survey

2006-04-04T19:45:00.000-06:00

Place an X by all the things you've done, or remove the X from the ones you have not. This is for your entire life:
(copy and paste into comments window if you want to complete)

(X) Smoked a cigarette
(X) Drank so much you threw up
(X) Crashed a friend's car
( ) Stolen a car
(X) Shoplifted (Never as an adult.)
(X) Been laid off/fired
(X) Quit your job
(X) Been in a fist fight
(X) Snuck out of your parent's house
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested
(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
( ) Seen someone die
(X) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire (What the hell???)
( ) Eaten sushi (I go with other people but refuse to eat the crap - I order off the cooked food menu!)
(X) Been snow skiing
(X) Water skiing
(X) Met someone from the internet
(X) Been to a concert
(X) Been to the Opera
( ) Had a root canal
(X) Taken painkillers
(X) Love someone or miss someone right now
(X) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) Made a snow angel
(X) Been to a pajama party
(X) Had a tea party
(X) Walked in the rain without an umbrella by choice!
(X) Flown a kite
(X) Gone puddle jumping
(X) Played dress up
(X) Jumped into a pile of leaves
(X) Walked in a rain forest
(X) Gone sledding
( ) Gone snowboarding
( ) Been to a ballet
(X) Been lonely
(X) Fallen asleep at work/school
( ) Used a fake ID
( ) Felt an earthquake
(X) Slept beneath the stars
( ) Been robbed
(X) Petted a reindeer/goat/kangaroo OR jackalope
( ) Won a contest
(X) Run a red light/stop sign
(X) Been suspended from school (Grade 8 for hitting Lori Heggie in the face with a badminton racket and then telling the principal to F-off ... sorry Lori)
( ) Had braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
( ) Danced in the moonlight (I will put this one on my to-do list.)
(X) Liked the way you looked
(X) Witnessed a crime
(X) Questioned your heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it notes (My friend, Shannon is. hehehe)
(X) Squished mud through your bare feet
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
( ) Been to Italy
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Sang karaoke (Once and I was drunk... I hate karaoke.)
( ) Paid for a meal with only coins
(X) Made prank phone calls
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain (Folk Festival)
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) Blown bubbles
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach
( ) Crashed a party
(X) Gone roller-skating
(X) Ice-skating
(?) Had a wish come true
( ) Jumped off a bridge into a lake or river

A War Within A War

2006-04-02T22:39:00.000-06:00

I have been over at rosie.com which is one of my daily blog visits. Rosie keeps her comments option turned off, and it has been that way since before I discovered her site. Well, now I see why.

She posted a beautiful article titled After grilling Bush, Helen Thomas gets thousands of flowers. By Albert Eisele and left the comment option open. This incited a riot crew, apparently called "trolls" to come in and attack with proverbial guns blazing. Americans at war with Americans over opinions. Very amusing.

Granted, people have very strong beliefs when it comes to Bush and the war, as do I, but to launch personal attacks on looks, intellect, weight, sexuality, beliefs and status, rather than debate their points and accept that others also have valid points. Absurd! You might think that even those who have their reasons for supporting the war would be able to envision some sort of peace as an ultimate goal. Nope, just vicious attacks. (A few respectful Bush supporters excluded)

There are some links to some very disturbing videos, photographs and articles about the politics, and the human carnage that has resulted. I wish I had not linked up to such graphic information, but I certainly got a realistic view of the corrupt soldiers who derive pleasure from their attacks, and those expressing contempt at their orders to refrain from killing children who throw rocks at their vehicles as they drive by. Perhaps some resemblance to the corrupt who served Hitler? But now they serve Bush.

Don't get me wrong, I am aware of the many troops who are serving out of loyalty to their country, and the ones who don't even believe in the reasons they are there. I am referring only to the cold, cruel killers who do not even regard the Iraqi people as human. So many innocent lives lost! Perhaps more than Saddam killed? Wasn't part of the rationale for an attack based on stopping Saddam from killing his own people? The irony.

The corrupt will return to live in civilization...

...to be continued

Yikes, the Abortion Issue!

2006-03-29T19:13:00.001-07:00

I began to post in response to the bee's knees and it became an entire blog.

Very idealistic view, but I tend to be more of a realist. It is my opinion that the people who preach and picket have no interest in really helping; just preaching and picketing and judging. I have not met one yet that is not running a personal or religious agenda.

How many have you taken in? I know a plethora of FAS and ADHD kids with no homes who get tossed around from foster to foster who don't want them either. I am not advocating for their demise, pre or post natal, but can I give them your address?

I know of pregnant junkies who could use a good home to kick back and get off the street to endure their forced pregnancies, and who could use a great Mom to leave the kid with after it is born. Interested?

Have you dedicated your life to forming an organization where these women can get the kind of help you speak of? Oh, granted, there are a few places available to women who really want the help, and some really do turn their lives around and become good mothers, or keep the unborn healthy for it's own sake and give it a good start in an adoptive family, but if you are going to force the drug addicted prostitutes, who want no part of it, to labor and deliver, you better have a paradise-on-earth environment and a lot of money for their drugs (or they will head back to the street to get them) so you can get the baby out alive.

You will need to rally a lot of money from the anti-abortionists and the religious right to build this empire and afford the cost raising the sick and unwanted babies to safe, productive adulthood, or provide long term care for those who will never thrive. After all, the innocent newborns deserve at least that, right? The reality is that hundreds of thousands of 'unwanted' children are waiting for homes from coast to coast, north to south in Canada and the USA right now. Do you have room for them too? Do the protesters who want more born have room for the ones already here?

I realize that would be a huge commitment, but think of all the babies you can save. If every anti-abortionist in North America gave only one dollar, you should have no problem. If every religious organization, especially the obscenely rich ones, got on board you could generate $MILLIONS$ for this cause. Get those preachy picketers putting their time and money behind what they say.

If your daughter was 12 or 13, and raped or impregnated by her pimp, her father or another family member, would you make her give birth?

Interesting comments, and although I do not agree with abortion as a means of birth control, I am glad that it is an option for some and would never take it upon myself to judge, condemn or interfere. Support is great for people who want support.

I am supportive of the person who makes the choice to continue her pregnancy despite having personal or fetal medical odds stacked against them. I am equally supportive of the person who makes an alternative, desperate, or informed yet very personal choice to the contrary.

If a fetus has a severe defect, some will abort, some will continue. Thankfully I have never had to make that choice, but that is also very personal and should never be based on what anyone else believes and preaches.

People discontinue life support on live children and adults every day, and I am thankful I have never had to make that choice either, but it is another’s burden and I will not judge.

We all have choices and they will not all be the same, they will also not all be right. People make decisions based on education, lack of education, personal, moral and religious reasoning. Keep in mind that Christians are not the only people here and the Bible is not everyone's religious reference. Either way, we are not entitled to judge.

To Indulge or Not to Indulge?

2006-03-28T22:39:00.000-07:00

Over indulgence of children is a cruel form of abuse, so I am again thankful for the wonderful family I work for.

Like many little boys, B loves Thomas the Tank Engine, and all of his expensive wooden train friends. B's Dad also loves the trains, and it is endearing to see him share a common bond with his son with such joy and enthusiasm. Until a month ago B had a small figure eight set on the coffee table. B now enjoys his elaborate track set-up on a table to which he points proudly declaring, "Dada, Dada!"

Yes, his Dad built it for him and it is nicer than the one he plays with in the children's section of the Indigo Bookstore. We go almost every day for the scheduled story time; the staff know him by name! The train table there costs about $1500-$2000! B's was made with much love at a fraction of the price.

Now, the indulgence factor is Dad, and the balance is Mom. Thankfully, Dad is very aware and it just takes a glance or gesture from Mom to reel him in when he wants to buy everything he believes his son would enjoy. I certainly understand because B loves books, and so do I. It is so tempting to buy more for his little collection, and I have added a few, but we use the library instead. This way I can get him all the books he wants while he learns to care for them (he gets paper pages now) and how to use a library. It's cute, he knows the books with stickers belong to the library, and no sticker means it is his.

Okay, I got derailed there... Back on topic... Mom is more practical, and Dad just wants to have fun. If Dad was set loose, B would own half of Toys 'R' Us, including the drivable Jeep he didn't get for Christmas! Oh, perhaps he will have one some day, but when he is older and when he can care for it and appreciate it. Right now he is still learning not to throw things!

Appreciation and care are just two things over indulged children fail to learn. It is very sad, and when I have more time I intend to write about the job I left after 18 months because of severe problems in the 10 year old I cared for during that employ. I may write a book about the experience because it is important. Although I was not respected, I will respect the identities of the people involved, but this incident of Nanny Hell (working title) needs to be written in a way that will enlighten parents and support Nannies.

Certainly it is not about the indulgence of an extra train for the set (even though there were two and Mom asked Dad to hide one for another time), rather the conveyance of a sense of privilege and entitlement. When that is combined with no responsibility or accountability, and zero discipline, the results are frightening.

He looks Older!

2006-03-27T22:09:00.000-07:00

I wish I could post pictures, but because B is not mine I don't feel right doing so. What a cute little bug he is. After my weekend I returned anticipating how his haircut had played out this time. Last time he wouldn't sit and his Mom ended up following him around the house for three days with scissors to even out the cut he refused to let the stylist finish.

This time Mom and Dad too him to Beaners. Beaners specializes in children's cuts and has all kinds of distractions. Kids sit on an animal rides (like at the mall), they have TVs on during the cut, and a ball room to play in after. SUCCESS! A very cute little boy cut. B has curly hair and it was getting out of control, but now it looks neat, and he looks older. To top it of he got a ball cap from his little friend (2 months older) who was on holiday in Omaha. With the hat he looks like a little boy instead of the toddler he is. He is tall for his age too (90th percentile), so he looks like he is ready for preschool.

If that wasn't enough, he got his big-boy bed. He isn't sleeping in it yet, but it is in his room. The new baby will have a second crib, and they don't want to transition him too soon. He loves his crib, and he sleeps well (11 hours at night & 3 hours in the afternoon), so at only 20 months, he has up to another year in his crib if that's what he needs.

We are all so happy that B is eating better and is getting brave enough to try new foods. He won't touch a piece of banana or apple with his hands, and he won't bite them either, but if I cut them and feed him with a fork he will eat them! Oh well, whatever it takes.

Addictive

2006-03-26T14:27:00.000-07:00

Blogging is addictive! In building my own blog I have been to many pages in hopes of figuring out how to grow and promote my site. This is an experiment and a learning curve for future projects, including a parenting manual for which I will need contact with many parents for input.

What better way to learn than to just do it! Well, as with any other learning experience there are unforeseen side effects which contribute to, and distract from, the process.

I find myself reading other blogs and linking from those, to others, and forgetting where I started in the first place! I have begun to mark favorites and list a few on my link sidebar. It is a good thing to have electronic tracking because it simply boggles my brain!

This does seem like a viable way to connect with strong, intelligent people and share what otherwise would not be known. I have to say, it does take courage for me to share what is a very private life. It seems easier to share with strangers. My partner hasn't yet seen this site, and although there is nothing here she is unaware of, it just feels more comfortable to keep it to myself for now. She is aware of what I am working on, but just hasn't seen it yet.

It could just be the perfectionist Virgo in me, but I guess I want it to be presentable and functional before I let it out.

Shocked and Saddened

2006-03-25T11:38:00.000-07:00

Nanny 911 Family Profile and Video Clip - Longairc Family

Nanny 911 Forum - Michelle Longairc Episode

I watched this episode on FOX yesterday and found myself as outraged as every other member on this forum. It was horrific and I don't hold out any hope for the children in this family unless CPS gets involved.

Nanny Stella did all she could, but there was no teaching this horrible woman. The video clip is mild compared to what happened on the show. This is the first episode ever where a Nanny used the footage to prove to the mother what a child did and she still denied it. This is the first episode ever where the Nanny had ZERO effect on a family and only shook hands at the end. No hugs, and definitely NO emotional goodbye. I am sure Nanny Stella cried MANY tears for those kids after she was out of there!

Nanny Stella was hit, bitten, kicked, screamed at, told to "fuck off", had things thrown at her, and had a child spit in her face.

My only hope is that there will be some intervention from Michigan's Child and Family Services.

It's tough though. I left my job in child welfare because the system fails the kids so often. It was heartbreaking, and it damn near broke my spirit permanently. Kudos to those Social Workers, including a dear friend of mine, who are committed and fight every day for the most defenseless members of our human race.

Ellen and Liza

2006-03-24T19:26:00.000-07:00

Liza Minnelli was on Ellen today. I have never seen Ellen so nervous and her breath literally taken away. They seemed equally in admiration of each other, and they were quite a pair.

B is eating really well. He is getting progressively more used to texture and it allows him to enjoy his food more. We are giving him new things every day now. He was thrilled yesterday when the garbage truck came before his nap. For a while it had changed to 2:30 when he is asleep. Such simple things to thrill a 20 month old!

It is fun to see him becoming a 'big boy'. He stands on a step stool to brush his teeth and sits in a booster seat instead of a high chair. He is talking a little bit, yet he still resists. If it is something he really wants, or when he decides to surprise me when my back is turned, he will say a word or part of a word. When I ask him again he just stands smiling!

He really like doing things himself. "Self" is a very important word right now. Getting out of his stroller, untying his shoes, taking off his coat (he tries to put it on too), stepping down two or three steps without going backwards or holding a hand, brushing his teeth... He points to himself and gestures to what he wants to do. Ah, the independence!

1970 Favorite Dress

2006-03-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

It's sad how the outside and the inside tell different stories. I remember this as being the beginning of stress and depression.

1968 Me and My Sister

2006-03-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

We could have been close if our needs were prioritized.